Legacy
Legacy
Please note: this post is 93 months old and The Cares Family is no longer operational. This post is shared for information only
I started volunteering with South London Cares as I felt a lack of connection to older people. I have no family in London, no grandparents anywhere and my job and social life mainly consists of people my age and like me.
Through the South London Cares Love Your Neighbour programme I met Joan in November 2015. We were matched due to a shared love of Liverpool, Joan being born and bred there, myself having lived there when I went to Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts.
Last week (the 17th August) I went to Joan's 92nd birthday party! The day before would have also been her 69th wedding anniversary to Eddie. The sun shone for Joan's birthday party in Oval just as it had done on her wedding day.
Joan was a nurse her entire life (just like my Grandma), starting her training at 15 in Liverpool. Her stories of nursing over so many years are fascinating; from being on the district in Liverpool to working with some of the first heart transplant patients. You can tell that Joan is incredibly proud of her work. The nursing team I have met who look after Joan are amazing and even came to her birthday.
I go and see Joan every couple of weeks. We talk about what we have both been up to, she tells me stories about her early life and I ask questions. We often look at old photos together of which she has the most amazing collection, and I do her nails. Joan always asks me about my love life and is concerned that I haven't found a husband yet. So if you can think of anyone suitable, Joan would appreciate it. We have a shared love of sugar, which is supplied via cakes to us by Joan's son James.
James cares for Joan in his home alongside some other help. He does a wonderful thing for his mother and there are people doing the same thing for many different mothers, fathers, children and family that don't get the recognition they deserve. So here's to James and them!
What I have learnt from talking to Joan and looking at her old photographs is a snapshot of what has been really important in her life: making a difference to others, love, friends and family, special occasions and travelling to new places (and having great hair).
The visits have made me think about what are the memories that I want to make? What will keep me going in my chair at 92? Certainly not staying late at work, being on an eternal diet and worrying too much to make decisions, I really do think about this idea a lot and I don't put things off any more!
Through visiting Joan and attending the social clubs I have had the most joyful experiences, been given different perspectives on life and heard some wonderful stories. Spending time with older neighbors forces you, in a way, to slow down and pay attention to those that society can sometimes see as invisible, you take this attitude back out in to the world and are hopefully a better person for it. Old age is the only really shared destination for all of us so it's important to find out more about it and be kind to those who are already there*.
Slight reference to *Degnen, C (2012) Ageing Selves and Everyday Life in the North of England Manchester, Manchester University Press.
