Dupe's Winter Memories

Please note: this post is 79 months old and The Cares Family is no longer operational. This post is shared for information only

For older neighbour Dupe, October marks new beginnings, represents change, and gives a chance to reflect.  For us at South London Cares, October holds the same significance as we start our Winter Wellbeing project, our biggest outreach effort of the year. So we thought this would be a good time to hear from an older neighbour about what autumn, and the changing seasons mean to her.

"October 1st has always been a time for celebration in my family", Dupe tells me as we sit down to talk. Indeed, October 1st is an auspicious date in Dupe's life. It marks her parents wedding anniversary, her father's birthday and the day that Nigeria declared independence from colonial rule. 

When asked Dupe if I could interview her about her life, and how she was feeling about the winter coming, I knew that she would have a wealth of stories to share. But I didn't quite realise just how rich her life and experiences would be. Dupe's memories span across both decades and continents. 

Born in Nigeria, Dupe was sent to Britain to complete her secondary education when she was 13, where she developed a passion for the violin – a hobby that led her to play at Festival of Britain 1951. "After that, I wanted to be a violinist but my parents wouldn't let me!"

Above: Dupe (back row, fourth from the left) with her violin group at school. 

Left: Dupe (far right) with friends 

In fact, Dupe went on to have a career in industrial banking. That job took her all over Nigeria and other continents, including a short time spent in India and a sponsored course at Trinity college Dublin, by the Irish Development Bank. Despite her travels though, Dupe has always considered herself lucky to have two countries that she can call home, Nigeria and Britain. "I had my formative years in Britain, actually now they often call me an ex-patriot Nigerian! 'She thinks like the British!' they say."

Since 2004, Dupe has been based more steadily in the UK. Far from her life slowing down though, Dupe decided to take a masters degree at the age of 72!

Today, Dupe sits at the head of her family. With four children, 10 grandchildren and two great grandchildren, Dupe causally tells me that – as well as presiding as the matriarch of her family – she is also the head of the Yoruba Nigerian Royal family. "I have been born into two Royal Dynasties, from my paternal grandparents and my maternal grandparents side." In fact, Dupe tells me that had she been born male, she could vye to ascend Oshile throne! And what's more, she is at present, the head Adedamola Royal Family. 

Above: Dupe (on her birthday!) at South London Cares carnival crafts Social Club

I asked Dupe to describe what winter was like when she moved to Britain. When Dupe first came to school in the UK, the most striking thing about the winter to her was the snow. "The children would go out and had a home-made contraption they would use as a sledge, and were all padded up with scarves around their heads and necks, wearing gloves and fur boots and other warm clothing."

Along with sledging, Dupe tells me about the snowmen that she would make. "And sometimes", Dupe says, "they would make the snowman in the effigy of Churchill. They'd give him a hat and a cigar, with a coat thrown over him! My father used to joke "show me a white man, not a snowman and I will show you a black man!'" 

"With that joke, we knew that we would be called in one by one to have a nice cup of tea, and warm up by the fire - it used to be coal or wood logs.'"

Dupe's memories of her childhood seem to be lifted from a storybook, and as she describes the special warmth that a fire brings, I can almost hear the crackle of the flames. "It's nice to see the light of the fire, whereas now you can't just sit and look at the radiator! Although London is cleaner for it." 

Nowadays, the winter holds a different significance for Dupe. As the days are shorter, Dupe feels wary about walking home in the dark, so she avoids going out at night. She tells me though, that she still does tend to go to a homeless shelters as a volunteer and stay the night, assisting with breakfast in the morning before going home. What an inspiration to us all.

When she isn't in Nigeria, Dupe prepares for the cold by getting warm clothes, and making sure she has people to see during the shorter days. Some of those connections Dupe makes through her church at Westminster, and of course through South London Cares. Dupe is often at social clubs like our tech workshops and relishes spending time with the volunteers she meets; "I love talking to younger people. I'm a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, and my motherhood doesn't stop there!"

Dupe's stories are so interesting, she is writing a book about her family history to set out her pedigree, experience and adventures. And as we start the Winter Wellbeing project in earnest, the opportunity to catch up with Dupe about her fascinating life and hear just how much she values creating connections during the colder months has been a special one. It emphasises just how vital it is to bring people together and celebrate the people, places and communities that make our city great. 

You can help support the Winter Wellbeing project by donating to our Big Give Christmas Challenge; a match funding campaign that runs from Tuesday 27th November – Tuesday 4th December. Watch this space!