Friendship at first sight

Please note: this post is 107 months old and The Cares Family is no longer operational. This post is shared for information only

Meet Angela and Dorothy.  We introduced them 5 months ago through our Love Your Neighbour programme, which connects young and older south Londoners for one-to-one friendships. 

Despite the 60 years between them, they've got a lot in common. Not least a love of talking, tea, and laughing. Their friendship was almost instant and has been a source of enjoyment and comfort for them both.

Dorothy's 85 and has lived in Herne Hill for over 60 years. She's seen so much change in her community. Some of these changes, like fewer banks and small businesses in the area, have an isolating impact. Like many older people, she's also coping with changes to her health, in her mobility and sadly bereavement too. 

Dorothy told us that having Angela visit her each week has helped her to feel more connected, less lonely and to feel more positive.

"Angela really is a lovely person. I really look forward to her visiting. She’s just like one of the family. It's the conversation and company that I love. We share memories of Ireland, we laugh at our own jokes, we have a cup of tea together. 

As you get older you don’t know what younger people are like. You feel like you bore people because you're older. But I look forward to those days, I did feel very lonely and I’ve been trying to fill up my time. It's just lovely and I'm so glad to know her. She's like one of the family."

You might be thinking that it's a one way street, that Angela is helping Dorothy and not the other way. But read on - you might be surprised.

Like most young professionals in London, Angela spends a good chunk of her time working in central London. She wanted to get to know an older neighbour through South London Cares so that she could feel more settled and invested in her community.

"I absolutely love it. It puts me in such a good mood – and I can tell it puts her in a good mood too. We get on so well. She just wants some company and someone to talk to, it's that simple.

Her stories are great and it’s so interesting to hear about what life was like in the 50s and 60s especially. We both moved from Ireland to London but in completely different times. I’ve just turned 26, and when she was my age she’d already had five children. Her struggles were so much greater then than my day to day worries now. Spending time with her makes me view society differently. I think more about what older people have to cope with. 

She feels like people don't listen to her. We don’t take older people seriously enough – it’s like 'you’re getting older…you should just accept it!' And that’s not right. Just cos you’re older you don’t have to get on all by yourself.

Dorothy has a warm, fun personality and is a really relatable person. I always look forward to seeing her. It feels like a staple in my week."

To read more and find out how you could be involved, here's more about Love Your Neighbour.