Legacy
Legacy
Please note: this post is 80 months old and The Cares Family is no longer operational. This post is shared for information only
Tim (34)
I make documentaries and I often do films for the arts and charities. I realised how much I enjoyed going in to meet people I wouldn’t normally get to meet when I made the Hidden Heroes videos for South London Cares and thought it would be a good idea to get involved as a volunteer. I went along to some of the social clubs and really enjoyed them.
I really enjoyed meeting older people as my grandparents passed away and they lived in Ireland so I didn’t see them often. In my daily life and work, I don’t actually meet a lot of people that are that much older than me. Nora and I were matched up as I used to live just around the corner and our Irish connection – my family is Irish and Nora is Irish.
Nora’s done a lot of genealogy and is very good at looking at historical records. She also found someone from my family in Ireland! She’s also got a great sense of humour, we’re always laughing: she’s a great storyteller. Nora is interested in a wide range of different things – we chat about films, current affairs, documentaries. We catch up and we’re never short of things to say! Sometimes I help out with little bits and pieces if the iPad or TV isn’t working. Nora calls me the IT doctor (ha!).
Meeting someone from a different age group is interesting in a historical sense and learning more about different things. For example, Nora was very keen on The Crown and got me to start watching it. It was really interesting because Nora was there through it and tells me her memories about it and I really didn’t know much about the royal family. In the lead up to the royal wedding, I called Nora my royal correspondent as she seems to know everything about the royal family!
We also both love theatre. Nora goes to the theatre once a month – usually at the Southbank. I go quite a lot too as I often do work for theatres and get to see the shows. Often Nora and I have seen the same shows and we debrief about them. Let’s say that we’re honest in our reviews!
South London Cares helped to organise a puppet show through the Little Angel Theatre who performed their show at Nora’s home. It was really nice to share the experience with Nora and some of her family who came along.
I see Nora once a week and I see her for a couple of hours: there’s not really anyone else that I meet up with once a week and have a two-hour catch up with. I just enjoy it, we’re genuine friends. I like coming to visit Nora and it’s sad to think we would have never met if it hadn’t been for the Love Your Neighbour programme even though we lived so close in Peckham. It’s nice to know people nearby in the area you’re living in. I’ve learnt a lot – even about my own history!
Nora (74)
I really, really look forward to Tim's visits. He is wonderful company and a great listener as well.
Before my disability progressed to this stage I got about a lot and had no trouble at all making friends. Now that's all changed. I do keep in touch with old friends but the face to face contact is always better. I like to be with people.
Sometimes I find that being older and disabled means that some people can talk over me, even when people have the best intentions. There’s a lot of ageism going on and actually, there’s no reason why someone can’t talk to someone who’s a different age to them. Many people don’t see age. I don’t see age, gender and colour. It’s not my concern – it’s about the person and whether you get on.
I think some younger people might feel that they don’t want to talk to you as you don’t know anything. But what you have is a load of experience. When I was younger, I enjoyed talking to older people to find out what life was like at different times and often you find out that some things aren’t that different.
I always took my kids all over London: I love London. At the request of my son, we once tried to go to every station in London as fast as we could to try and break the Guinness World Record – we didn’t do it all but we saw a lot!
I retired to Ireland but when I became ill and was no longer able to walk I moved back to the UK so my son could help to look after me. I left a lot of friends in Ireland so I’m happy to make new connections.
I think the Love Your Neighbour programme is great. People like sharing stories and writing memoirs in their life, especially as they get older, so it makes sense to match them with a friend who they can share their stories with. I also like showing off about the places I’ve travelled to! We do seem to have a lot of interests in common. However, the main one is probably the hundreds of years that both of our ancestors lived on the west and south coast of Ireland. We love to share the Irish history and since I'm 74 I've lived some of it myself! We talk a lot and Tim often has to walk backwards out the front door as I won’t stop talking. I’m like the queen (ha!) – if you watch The Crown, you see you have to walk back out the door after addressing her.
The Love Your Neighbour programme has made a big difference to me as I do get a bit lonely sometimes. I see my son often and he’s great, as are my other family (who live outside of London), but I can’t get up and do the things I used to do so it can be lonely. I think there’s a lot of loneliness out there, even for people who maybe don’t talk a lot but want someone to just sit with them and be there. Having company makes you feel better and not alone. I think people are meant to be together.
Nora and Tim are one of sixty seven Love Your Neighbour matches – south Londoners who wouldn't usually have met, but who can gain a lot from knowing one another. You can find out more about Love Your Neighbour here.