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Love Your Neighbour: Referral Guidance

Update on waiting list - August 2023

Please note that we are experiencing a high number of referrals for our Love Your Neighbour programme at the moment, particularly in Southwark, so there may be a delay before we get in touch with the older neighbour. On average, the wait time from the point of referral to being matched on the programme is over 5 months. If we have been unable to meet with or match the neighbour within 6 months, we will get back in touch to discuss best next steps.

What is Love Your Neighbour?

Love Your Neighbour is our one-to-one friendship matching programme, which pairs up older and younger neighbours for company and conversation through weekly visits, meet-ups or phone calls. We match based on location, so that those on the programme get to know a real ‘neighbour’ in their local community, as well as interests or things in common, so matches have something to chat about. The aim is to create mutual, long-lasting friendships, where both parties are up for getting to know one another and gaining something from the match.

Who are our older neighbours?

All older neighbours referred to South London Cares must be aged 65 or over, and live in the boroughs of Southwark or Lambeth. For the Love Your Neighbour programme, we look for older neighbours who are interested in getting to know a younger person, and who are able to hold a mutual, two-way conversation.

Some of our older neighbours are looking for more company due to being unable to get out of the house, declining health, mobility issues, bereavement or other challenging life changes. However, we also welcome older neighbours who have many social connections but would still like a new friend from a different generation.

Who are our younger neighbours?

Our younger neighbours are under 65 and live or work in the boroughs of Lambeth and Southwark, who sign up to us as volunteers. Recent research has shown that younger people in this age group are most at risk of chronic loneliness, so our younger neighbours may similarly be getting involved to feel more connected to their community, and to build a friendship with an older south Londoner.

While younger neighbours are kind and empathetic listeners, they’re not trained in counselling or first aid, so the programme should not be used as a substitute for adequate physical and mental health support. They are also unable to provide any practical support that a carer, cleaner or support worker might do, or take the older neighbour out for walks.

Are there any referrals you cannot accept?

While we try to be as inclusive as possible on the programme, there are cases where Love Your Neighbour may not be the best fit for an older neighbour. Therefore, we cannot accept referrals for older neighbours with the following circumstances:

  • Older neighbours with a diagnosis of dementia For safeguarding and practical reasons, older neighbours on the programme need to remember who the younger neighbour is, when they are coming, and be able to tell us how the visits were going. Our younger neighbours also aren’t trained to support older neighbours with significant memory challenges, and therefore we’ve found that visits can end up causing distress or confusion for both parties.
  • Older neighbours with an unmanaged or complex mental/physical health condition We class ‘unmanaged’ as when there is evidence of inadequate support being in place, and the older neighbour is unwilling to pursue support with or without signposting/referrals from us. This also includes complex mental health issues, such as psychotic disorders, where it would make them unsuitable for a volunteer to visit them, due to their lack of training.
  • Older neighbours who are very unwell or in receipt of palliative care We’ve often found older neighbours struggle to build a friendship with a younger neighbour during periods of severe ill health. Our volunteers aren't trained to support older neighbours receiving end of life care, with the emotional and practical implications this has. The expectation we give is a sustainable and mutual friendship between older and younger neighbours, which sadly wouldn’t be possible in this situation.
  • Older neighbours who speak little or no English or have a severe hearing impairment We have to make sure our older neighbours have a full understanding of the programme before they’re matched, and that we’re able to keep in touch with them over the phone during their match for safeguarding reasons. If there are communication barriers such as language or hearing which would make this unfeasible, we’re unfortunately unable to match that older neighbour. We can however suggest other programmes for those who speak other languages, and are still working on how we can include older neighbours who speak little or no English in the programme in future.
  • Older neighbours who don’t agree to or follow our anti-racism and inclusion policy - All older neighbours must agree to follow our anti-racism and inclusion policy before being matched on the programme, so that we’re ensuring our community remains a safe and welcoming place where everyone can be themselves. If they refuse to agree with the expectations set out or breach the policy during the assessment or matching process, we may not be able to match them on the programme. You can read more about our policy here.
  • Older neighbours with an unsuitable home environment - Older neighbours’ homes need to be a suitable place for a younger neighbour to visit. Therefore, during our assessment visits we ensure that the home is safe, clean and in good repair. There must be somewhere for the volunteer to sit comfortably at a good distance, as well as a functioning bathroom, hot running water and heating. Older neighbours will be asked not to smoke during visits. If older neighbours live with another person, we’ll also need to meet them before matching to ensure the safety of our volunteers.
  • Older neighbours living in care homes - We’re not usually able to match older neighbours living in care homes. From experience, we’ve found that it’s difficult for matches to build a mutual, one-to-one friendship in this environment, and limited visiting hours often don’t align with our younger neighbours’ schedules.

What sort of information is it useful to include in my referral?

In referrals it’s great to hear an older neighbour’s background and interests, as well as their motivations for getting involved in the programme. It’s useful to mention any medical conditions, communication, mobility or accessibility needs that might impact their involvement in the programme, or how we get in touch with them. If you can provide information about anything our staff might need to know before visiting them in their home, for instance if they live with someone else or have a key safe, that would also be helpful to include.

What happens after I make a referral?

After you’ve made a referral, you’ll receive an email from us to acknowledge the form has been submitted and we’ve received it. Unless there’s a reason we’re unable to accept the referral from the information provided, or there’s anything we’d like to discuss with you, the referrer, we’ll get in touch with the older neighbour directly to introduce ourselves, tell them more about our programmes and confirm their interest. We aim to do this within two weeks of receiving the referral.

A member of the Love Your Neighbour team will then call to follow up with the older neighbour, have a chat to find out a bit more about them, and then, if we think the programme is right for them, book an assessment visit. Sometimes there might be a bit of a delay before this call, or the visit booking, depending on the number of neighbours we have referred to us.

The assessment visit is an opportunity for us to chat to the older neighbour in person and get to know them better. During the visit, we’ll talk about the programme in more detail. We’ll also go through an assessment form with a few questions. These are to make sure we have all the older neighbour’s details correct, to find out more about their background and interests, and to better understand their living situation, so we can make sure they’ve got the support in place to be able to engage in the Love Your Neighbour programme safely and happily. We can make referrals or signpost to other organisations who can offer support if necessary. We will update you of the outcome of the visit and next steps.

​How quickly will the older neighbour I’ve referred be matched up?

The time it takes for an older neighbour to be introduced to a younger neighbour depends on several different factors, including the number of younger neighbours available in their area, whether they have any specific requests for a match, and whether they’ll need any extra support prior to being matched. We try to match thoughtfully and sustainably, so that the friendships created are positive and long lasting for both parties, but this can often take a bit of time! We’d advise managing the expectations of any older neighbours referred that they might not be matched for a little while, although we’ll keep in touch with them during the process.

Who should I contact if I have questions or updates?

If you have any questions, or need to update us about a neighbour you’ve referred, for instance a change of address, contact details or circumstances, or something you’d like to add to the referral information provided, then do email our Love Your Neighbour Programme Coordinators: Lauren (Lambeth) at [email protected], or Emily (Southwark) [email protected]. Or call us on 0207 118 0404 (option 3).